Haunting Dreams and Sleepless Nights
by NaiveSweet16
Summary: Everbody suffered after the final battle, but no one more than Harry and Hermione, who lost their best friend. How will they cope?
1. The Prize

Haunting Dreams and Sleepless Nights

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. It's been over a year since I wrote a fanfiction because the ideas have gone dry so if I'm rusty sorry.

Hedwig began to fidget in her cage; she hadn't been out all week. Her stirring woke Harry from a sleep he'd like to forget. Dreams still haunted him of every meeting he'd ever had with Voldemort and sometimes the outcomes were different. Sometimes he didn't survive. Harry rubbed his eyes and reached for his glasses. They were on the bedside table where he had left them before dropping into a lingering dream-filled sleep.

"I'm coming," he told the bird. He opened the cage and let her out. Harry's flat was not far from Diagon Alley, which had been its first attraction. After graduating from school Harry had found work as an Auror with the Ministry easily. After his defeat of Voldemort he was hailed the Official Golden Boy of the Wizarding World. Even worse, the loss of his best friend had caused Harry to fall into a depression deeper than any well.

Ron had always been so jealous of Harry's fame. And all Harry wanted was to be normal, which was hard enough in the wizarding world and even harder out of it. But when the time came for Ron to contribute to the fight against Voldemort he did it in the only way he knew how...he sacrificed himself. At the time it hadn't seemed final to Harry or to Hermione who had fought alongside Harry as well. The realism hadn't hit them. They were both numb and when it did finally hit them at Ron's funeral service they broke down into convulsing sobs and held each other. It was the only time that Harry could remember seeing Hermione like that; fragile and completely vulnerable. It broke his heart that she had to go through this, though; secretly he was glad he didn't have to go through it by himself. Immediately after Ron's death Harry had begun dreaming about his days at Hogwarts. He dreamed simple things, like the trio going to lunch together and silly things like that. He thought about their friendship and what each contributed. He was brave, Hermione was smart, and Ron was...Suddenly, at that moment Harry had understood Ron's feelings. He understood that Ron had felt out of place amongst Harry and Hermione who were both seen as the best at something. Harry felt guilty that he had never shown Ron just how much he meant to him.

A loud pop sounded and Harry looked around the darkened room.

A familiar voice spoke, "I couldn't sleep either."

The person slipped into the bed and under the covers where Harry had returned after letting Hedwig go.

"Harry, do you still dream about him?"

"Every night," he said honestly.

Hermione nodded silently. Harry could hear her begin to cry but he didn't move to comfort her. She usually didn't like when he did that, it made her feel weak and she didn't like that. "Me too," she snuggled further under the blanket.

"I hate him for leaving us," Hermione said, sounding like a child.

Harry grabbed her hand, "You don't mean that. I know you don't."

She sniffled and wiped her face with her other hand.

She was always like this nowadays. In public Hermione was the strong Mediwitch that everyone expected her to be. She was the Hermione Granger that would've been if Ron were still with them and she hadn't suffered the blow that she had. But in private, when with Harry, she became herself. These days she loved reading, watching Muggle movies, and cooking. But even when she was laughing and having fun her eyes showed pain.

She scooted closer to Harry. "What day is it?"

"Friday morning," he answered.

"What time?" she asked.

Harry glanced at the clock before answering, "About one o'clock."

She nodded again.

After a while they fell asleep and woke again at about eight o'clock. Hermione woke first and shook Harry awake.

"Harry, we both have to get to work."

He grumbled, "Why can't we take off?"

"Because we took off last week," she reminded him. She got out of bed and threw off the traveling cloak she had slept in, revealing her night clothes. She opened the top drawer of Harry's bureau drawer where she kept her extra clothing for work. She changed quickly in the bathroom and Harry did the same in the bedroom.

They met in the living room before Disapperating, "Meet me for lunch?" he asked before kissing her cheek.

"Antonio's?" She asked.

"Takes too long. Meet me at The Pub."

"Harry we ate there last time." She was whining but she was smiling. It was one of the rare moments where she was having fun.

"Where then?"

"Leaky Cauldron?" he asked.

"Always a favorite, see you at lunch," and then they both disappeared.

Harry worked until noon when he got off for lunch. He made his way to the Leaky Cauldron where Hermione, decked out in her hospital attire, was already waiting.

She had ordered for the both of them and sat waiting patiently for her friend.

As he sat down she said, "Guess what?"

Harry took a bite of his sandwich and shrugged.

"I won a vacation!" She was smiling again and Harry was confused.

He swallowed, "What?"

"At the hospital we all entered this thing where you win a two week vacation for two people in this Bed and Breakfast in London! I won! And you're coming with me! We leave tomorrow."

A/N Review please! I totally did not intend for the story to turn out this way. Not at all, this is weird. But anyway, just wait. I'm still rusty as I said so give me time.


	2. Never in a Million Years

Haunting Dreams and Sleepless Nights

Chapter 2

Hermione was sitting on Harry's bed with her duffle bag beside her, she was watching Harry pack.

Harry held up a Muggle shirt in front of him.

"You're not serious are you?" Hermione asked him.

"I like this shirt! I wear it all the time!" Harry cried defensively.

"I know," Hermione murmured.

Harry shook his head and put the shirt back in his bureau.

"How about this one?" he asked, holding up a green cotton shirt.

"Perfect."

Harry looked down at the shirt, "It's just a green shirt Hermione."

Hermione rolled her eyes, "It's simple."

"Fine," Harry said packing the shirt.

After Hermione went through Harry's things and made sure they were all acceptable they started on their way.

They arrived slightly before lunch and checked into their hotel room. As they put their stuff away Harry asked Hermione a question.

"You said you won this room right?"

Hermione nodded and folded a pair of jeans.

"Yeah, at the hospital. I signed up to win and then they drew my name."

"Did you know it was a Bed and Breakfast when you signed up?" Harry asked her.

"Yeah. Why?"

"I don't know. I mean usually a Bed and Breakfast is the place people go with their boyfriend or husband. You don't have either so...Why did you sign up?"

Hermione sat on the bed beside Harry and wrinkled her nose.

Harry looked her expectantly and then Hermione linked her arm in his.

"Because we never get away," she said finally.

"Away from what?" Harry asked, confused.

She lay back on the bed and pulled Harry down beside her.

"From the world."

He suddenly understood what she meant. While he had been doing his best to get away from the Wizarding World Hermione had been doing the same. Everyone expected so much of Harry and now he realized that Hermione was under the same pressure.

"The world," Harry sighed.

Harry turned toward Hermione and stared directly at her soft face.

"I'm sorry."

Now she looked at him. Her chocolate brown eyes were unreadable but her quivering lip was not. Her hand found his and she squeezed.

"It's not your fault."

But Harry wouldn't believe that. If Ron and Hermione had become his friends then Ron would still be alive. He told Hermione so.

She gave a tiny laugh. "Harry, I wouldn't change being friends with you for the world."

Harry was very surprised at this information and suddenly sat up.

"But Ron...And all the heartache and pain that you've suffered...You could've had a different life."

Hermione sat up too. "Harry what kind of a life would I have had? I would've been a bookworm with no friends. I would've been miserable and I would probably still would be miserable."

Harry studied Hermione carefully.

"But Ron could've lived if he hadn't been friends with me," he said softly.

Hermione stared at him hard in the eyes, "What are friends for?" she asked him.

"We all have to sacrifice things for our friends. Ron just had to sacrifice more for his."

A single tear rolled down her cheek.

"You really wouldn't change being friends with me if you could?" he asked.

"Never in a million years."

"You swear?"

"On my heart, hope to die."

A/N I'm pretty happy with it. I hope you guys like it. I'd like to give a little shout out to my friends. Blake...Karlee...I love you! Rock on. You guys are awesome friends because even when my stories suck you tell me they're great. R/R


	3. Did You Love Him?

Haunting Dreams and Sleepless Nights

Chapter Three

A/N I don't own anything.

Harry and Hermione decided to go out on a boat after lunch. The day was slightly overcast but Hermione had her heart set on it so how could Harry say no? They rented a small rowboat and then began their way across the large lake.

"Do you know what this reminds me of?" Hermione asked.

Harry smiled. "How could I forget? Your wonderful first date."

Hermione chuckled. "That really was a horrible date."

"What was that guy's name again?" Harry asked.

"I have absolutely no idea."

"You don't even know?!" Harry cried.

"All I remember is you and Ron spying on us from behind that darn cloak."

Harry looked ashamed. "We just wanted to make sure he was all right for you."

"Harry don't get defensive. It was sweet...Just don't ever do it again," Hermione explained.

They were quite for a moment and Harry knew that Hermione was doing the same thing as him; their days with Ron.

They had reached the other side of the lake and Harry made a move to turn back around.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked suddenly.

"Going back?"

"No! Let's get out and take a walk."

"You wanna take a walk?" Harry asked.

"Yeah!"

Harry made his way toward the bank where he pulled the boat up on land.

Hermione wiped her hands on the back of her jeans and helped Harry.

After the job was done they stared at each other.

"Where do you want to walk?" Harry asked.

"Ummm..." Hermione looked like a confused child.

Harry laughed, took Hermione's hand and led her on a path into the woods.

"Lilac," Hermione whispered. She let go of Harry's hand and went to the side of the path where the small plant was growing.

"It was his favorite, you know," Hermione explained, picking a small piece. It was things like this that always made Harry feel as if Hermione had always reserved special feelings for Ron.

She stood up and handed the lilac to Harry.

"Hermione," Harry began slowly, "Did you-"

He tucked the piece of lilac behind her ear and she looked at him with interest.

"Did I what?" she asked.

"Were you in love with Ron?" Harry rushed. He was staring at the ground, starting to walk away from her.

"Harry," Hermione grabbed his arm and pulled him back to her.

He was staring in her eyes.

"I loved Ron, but I was not in love with. I suppose for a while I did have feelings for him but they had been over for years when he died."

Harry nodded, he felt silly for asking the question.

They were quiet again and began walking down the path.

"Why did you ask?" Hermione wanted to know.

Harry shrugged.

Hermione laid her hands on Harry's shoulders.

"Harry," she said slowly. "Why did you ask?"

"I don't know...It's just that sometimes when you talk about him..." He trailed off.

They began walking again.

"No," Hermione repeated, "I wasn't in love with him."

A/N I know that his chapter was sort of boring but I wanted to get out there that Hermione was not in love with Ron. I don't know how this is going to end up so....R/R!


	4. Coughing in the Dark

Haunting Dreams and Sleepless Nights

Chapter four

Harry rolled over and pulled the sheet over his topless chest. He sighed and coughed.

"You okay?" Hermione asked, propping herself up on her elbow to look at him.

Harry nodded, "Yeah." He coughed again.

"Liar," Hermione laughed turning on the light. She went to the sink and poured Harry a glass of water.

"Here," she said handing it to him.

He took a drink and then set the glass on the nightstand.

Hermione went to her side of the bed and lay down, turning off the light.

They both lay on their backs and started at the ceiling.

"What would I do without you?" Harry asked.

"Who knows?"

They were silent.

"He loved you," Harry finally said.

"What?"

"Ron. He loved you."

Hermione turned to face Harry.

"Me? He loved _me_?"

"You didn't know?"

Hermione shook her head.

"He did. He was honestly in love with you."

"For how long?" Hermione asked timidly.

"Forever. You were the only one he ever really cared about."

Harry heard Hermione sniffle. He didn't know what had possessed him to tell Hermione this. He had always known it though. Only a few times had Ron actually told Harry his feelings for Hermione. But the signs were always there. Ron had always loved Hermione, Harry knew that. And why he had to tell her now Harry couldn't figure it out. Unless it was because he, himself, had always been in love with her too.

A/N Blake are you having a heart attack? Lol!


	5. Always you

Haunting Dreams and Sleepless Nights

Chapter five

Harry and Hermione were sitting on a blanket outside by the lake. Hermione was thumbing through a book while Harry pulled the petals off a flower.

For a long time Harry had known he was in love with Hermione. He loved everything about her. He loved the way she spoke, smelled, and laughed. Though she seemed to be laughing less and less these days. And it was when he thought of things like this that Harry felt a sudden desire to take Hermione up in his arms. However cliché it sounded he knew that it was true.

Hermione sat her book down, "You've been doing that for an hour."

Harry looked up.

Hermione scooted closer to him and took the flower from his hands.

"Harry" she stopped.

A sudden noise on the other side of the lake made them both start. They saw a couple of teenage boys had lit a firework.

Harry shook his head, "Some people are so inconsiderate."

Hermione laughed at this. "Harry, when we were that age we would've done the same thing!"

Harry cracked a smile, she was right. She was always right.

"You know when Ron-" Harry started.

"Harry!" Hermione said sharply. "This entire week you've spoken of Ron! I don't want to speak of him!"

Harry stared at her. Her eyes filled with tears and her lips began to tremble.

"Don't you understand? I want to forget. Oh, Harry, I know it's wrong. I know that he was important to me but it hurts to think of him. God! Sometimes I want to fold my memories up like letters and stick them in the desk drawer for good! Harry it is not Ron that was my best friend! It was not Ron who was there for me! It is not Ron that my heart belongs to."

Harry stared at her and took her hand.

"It is you Harry." She began to cry harder. "It has always been you. You have always come first. You have always been the most important thing in my life. Always."

"And you" Harry said.

The End

A/N I know, I know. THE END?! But it is. I don't want to get all cliché and sappy because trust me no one would be happy. This way you guys can figure out what you want to happen. And Blakeâ please keep your version PG. LOL!


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